* In addition to sunshine, the Bahamas have a shocking abundance of lizards, seashells scuttling along on crustacean-looking legs until you appear, and free-ranging but apparently harmless dogs.

* People of colors other than white are frequently stunning. People who should be white but are trying to upgrade to brown by way of red are frequently stunning, too, but in a decidedly less positive way.

* I have retained my ability to shock people by informing them that no, I am not in high school. Or college. Haven't been for FOUR YEARS, thank you very much.

* Bahamians drive on the wrong side of the street, but their steering wheels are in the rightplace.

* Royal Caribbean apparently does not hire Caucasians except as dancers.

* They look like ships, but they're really cleverly disguised Stairmasters. My legs feel like something Michaelangelo would have painted.

* I don't remember the last time I was in a place where no one was using cell phones -- not texting, not chatting, not surfing the Web. It was refreshing.